- Ending up on a government watchlist for Internet search history.
- Rattling off nonsense phrases so you don’t forget: Change “milquetoast sequins” to “milquetoast ruffles.” Change “milquetoast sequins” to “milquetoast ruffles.” Change “milquetoast sequins” to “milquetoast ruffles.”
- Acting out gestures to figure out how to write them.
- Sore throat from reading entire novel out loud to “listen for the music in the words.”
- Nightmares about upcoming critique.
- Not booking any vacation until May while you wait to see if you get into that writers’ conference and need to use up all your vacation time.
- 500 novel problems and a ____ ain’t one.
- 473 instances of “just” and “it” and “was” to be reviewed and revised/deleted.
- Compulsively checking Publisher’s Marketplace to make sure no one has published a book just like yours.
- Compulsively reading book reviews to make sure no one has published a book just like yours.
- Hating a book you love because it is so much better than yours.
- Pitying looks from friends and family when you talk about your novel for the 100th time.